It wasn’t the world’s business that I was getting blind drunk every night. It was mine. It’s not like I was hurting anyone. I’d imagine that’s what I told myself.
Nobody was even watching. I’m sure a part of me wanted someone to notice what was going on. Not the drinking or the drugs, mind you. Just my loneliness.
You can take that from me for a little while… Leave the other shit. That’s private.
But over the years and toward the end, these things were impossible to separate from one another. My addiction had become an isolating jar of emptiness.
I was desperate to protect the sanctity of this exclusive relationship with nothing.